FAQs

Think about it like emotional intelligence, turned up a notch!  Relational intelligence starts with the most important relationship—the one with yourself. Once you develop and nurture that integral relationship, you'll be able to build into your friendships, families, teams and romantic partnerships at a deeper level. And, Enneagram can be a go-to tool every step of the way.

"Relationships are our stories—write well and edit often." — Esther Perel

The Enneagram is NOT about typecasting others – it’s about self-awareness. Never use it as a weapon against others. And, be sure to use it as a way to move yourself forward, not as rationalization for your behavior
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You are MORE than your type! Everyone has passions, skills, experiences, talents and personality traits on top of it
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Value personal experience OVER Enneagram theory. If something doesn’t fully resonate with you, that’s ok! Be flexible with theories, in favor of your own and others’ experiences – Enneagram is simply a starting point for exploration

“I often describe therapy as going into the woods with someone and standing quietly and calmly no matter what happens. I, as an educator, am like: here’s a toolkit, here’s how to use all the tools, here’s a map of what you’re going to find in the forest. Go for it, you can do it! [But] I don’t go in with them. That is the thing that I can’t do.” — Emily Nagoski

I’m a firm believer in therapy, and I’m the biggest advocate for the professionals who went through years of schooling, training and continued education to do what they do. I go to therapy myself, and am a big proponent of both EMDR (for trauma) and IFS (an approach called Internal Family Systems). All of this to say – I purposely label myself as a consultant, not a coach, and certainly not a therapist. I think Enneagram is a life-changing tool that can certainly be utilized *in* therapy and as a complement to it, but my role will be educating you, serving as a resource, and then letting you apply it in your own life.

Anything by Beatrice Chestnut: The Complete Enneagram, The 9 Types of Leadership, The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up

The Enneagram in Love & Work by Helen Palmer

The Wisdom of the Enneagram by Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson

The Enneagram, Relationships & Intimacy by David Daniels & Suzanne Dion

The Road Back To You by Suzanne Stabile

The Enneagram of Discernment by Drew Moser 

Forty Days on Being a ____ (Enneagram Daily Reflections) by various authors (Type 1, Type 2, Type 3, Type 4, Type 5, Type 6, Type 7, Type 8, Type 9)

The Enneagram of Belonging by Chris Heuertz

 Enneagram Journey podcast by Suzanne Stabile

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The best way to discover your type is through self-reflection and observation, or sitting with a trained Enneagrammer (like me!) for a Typing Assessment. Though there are 9 core types, there are actually 54 variations of types in the system, which can easily lead to mistyping and confusion.
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If you must, I believe tests can be utilized as a starting point, but please take your results with a grain of salt!

A few tests I trust:

Essential Enneagram (Narrative tradition)

RHETI (Enneagram Institute)

IEQ9 (Integrative 9 Enneagram Solutions)

Let me count the ways!
First and foremost, the Enneagram is all about you and your own journey. It can spark self-awareness, acceptance and growth both personally and professionally
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Once you have a grasp on yourself, it can be pivotal in navigating your most important relationships: significant others, parents, kids, friends, business partners, you name it. The Enneagram creates a shared language that helps you better understand others’ perspectives
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The Enneagram can be a game-changer for group dynamics: in the workplace and other teams in your life
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I’ve also seen the way it reiterates, supports and complements other psychology theories and therapeutic approaches
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Finally, storytelling. Once you immerse in the Enneagram, you’ll find yourself “typing” your favorite characters in TV shows, movies and books. I believe there's an untapped opportunity to leverage the Enneagram for character and story development!

Glennon Doyle. A self-professed Enneagram FOUR who puts words to every thought you’ve ever had. Untamed is my top book recommendation for women (and men!). We Can Do Hard Things is her twice-weekly, real-talking podcast that dives into – you guessed it – all the hard things.
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Brene Brown. The (self-proclaimed Enneagram) ONE and only who tackles leadership, vulnerability and courage through a perfect combination of research and storytelling. Books include: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, and many more. Podcasts include: Unlocking Us, Dare to Lead.
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Esther Perel. A spitfire therapist and author who is leading the conversation on modern love and relationships. Mating in Captivity & State of Affairs are her books. Where Do We Begin? is both her podcast and board game!